Why I want a "Brewer" dog

I came here to Helena on Monday, thinking it would be the same as all my other visits. But it isn't. You see, our last trip to this wonderful abode, we discovered, some brats had tried to use our hot tub, and although not much damage was done, there was much damage to my feeling of security.
This is the first time, ever, I have been in this house, and felt like I am vulnerable. At night, and even during the day, I have this constant feeling that people know I am alone. And every noise I hear, is electrified in my head, and sounds like a recorder of my worst nightmares, coming in to haunt me.
Last night, I would fall asleep, to wake up in a panic, thinking everyone knew where our secret keys are hidden, and every criminal in the area were using them to break in and attack me. Well, I only remembered where one secret key was at the moment, and it was in the house with me. The problem is, I know I stuck a second, and maybe a third out on the property (if you were locked out of your house in 12 degree weather, with no neighbors home, no cell phone, and had to wait almost three hours for someone to come home, you would hide keys too), but I don't have a clue where I put them, that was three years ago. Now though, I figure, every crook in the world could find them and I am not a crook, so I don't even know where to look for the keys that I myself, hid. I can't ever find my own car keys, let alone a hidden key.
So today, I had extra keys made (don't ask, it made sense to me), and took the real 'hidden' key, and it's hider, in the house, so that tonight, I could try and sleep. With all 4 keys, except for the missing, hidden keys, in the house with me.
Well, it is almost 11 pm, and I am worried about those other keys, so I will go out and look for them. But damn, I wish I had a "Brewer" dog with me, then I know nobody in the world, God included, could sneak up on me. You must know and love Brewer to know why I say that. But it is true, nobody would get past "The Brewer," so if I had him, or a dog with as wonderful a bark as he has, I would sleep quite well tonight. No matter how many keys I had lost outside.